Never Grow Up En
by Yuki Kirkland
Summary: Growing up doesn't necessarily mean getting older. And even after everything that happened, Alfred was just older. The different stages of the relationship between Arthur and Alfred.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

It was nearly 01h30min in the morning, but the boy couldn't sleep. Not that he didn't want to, but he was so scared that, every time he closed his eyes, images of horrible monsters came to mind, making him moan softly. And, to be honest, it didn't help at all that there was a storm outside. The noise of the rain and the wind whistling made the whole scenery three times scarier in his little head.

Everything was England's fault. I mean, what kind of adult in their right minds would tell a horror story as a bedtime story? It was an imprudence that bordered on stupidity, something no one would expect from the noble human representation of the Great British Empire.

Talking about England, would he be awake? He could go to his room, couldn't he? Surely the nightmares wouldn't follow his if he was by Arthur's side. But on the other hand, he wanted to show he was a big boy. That he was brave enough to stay in his room without pestering his tutor throughout a particularly scary night. After all, Alfred was a hero, wasn't he?

CABRUM! ( That was supposed to be a thunder, please ignore my incapability to represent sounds)

All his determination to stay alone went downhill after this one. Trembling like a puppy, he climbed down the too high to his little size bed, ran to the door, standing on his tiptoes to reach the doorknob and darted outside, passing by the hallway and trying not to think about how frightening that place in particular was in the dark.

He stopped in front of the familiar door and knocked three times, waiting for permission to get in. But… What if Arthur was sleeping? He would have to stay alone in his room, scared to death, until it was clear enough for someone to be awake and make him company. And that wasn't a really good perspective.

The tears were already filling up his eyes when he heard the door be unlocked, letting him see a man relatively tall – at least, in the eyes of a terrified Chibi America -, with messy blond hair and sleepy green eyes.

\- Alfred? - for Arthur Kirkland, the vision of his colony, standing in front of his door, during the night, all coiled up in himself and with teary eyes could be summed up in one word: _cute_

-Arthur – whimpered the younger one, raising his little arms in a muted ask to be held up.

The Englishman looked at him sweetly and took him in his arms, cradling him gently. The little one buried his face in the space between the blond's neck and shoulder, while his hands gripped tightly the other's pajamas.

-Are you scared of the storm? -he asked the child with a soft tone. The boy only nodded in agreement, distracting himself with the comforting smell of peppermint and chamomile tea coming from Arthur's skin.

The man closed the door and went back to bed, leaving Alfred laid down and leaning back himself shortly after. He cradled the boy on his chest and ran his fingers through the soft hair. Alfred already looked calmer, but the darkness still scared him, so he asked, with a sleepy voice:

-Arthur? Can you leave the light on?

England said nothing, but he did get up and lighted the candle, leaving it on the bedside table and going back to bed. A few minutes later, the colony was already asleep and Arthur contemplated the child's face, taking special notice of how his eyelashes would cast shadows on his rosy cheeks. Arthur knew that moments like this were his most precious treasure and, honestly, wished Alfred would never grow up.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Rebel

Hello everyone. Second chapter is now here.

This chapter is divided in two parts. The first one is set in 1763, when Alfred looks like 13, 14 years old. I choose this particular year because, according to the portuguese page of wikipedia some three or four years ago, the American Revolution had its roots after the end of the Seven Years War, with the Treaty of Paris, in 1763. Still according to wikipedia, in spite of Britain "winning" the war, it was in deep debts, which made the Parliament impose taxes on pretty much everything. This also originated the Stamp Act, Sugar Act and other, leaving the colonists pretty pissed and wanting freedom.

Ok, it didn't happen exactly like this, but something close, I guess. But have in mind that I'm no expert in American History (hence the wikipedia), so if there's something wrong with my explanation, please let me know so I can drown myself in shame and then change it.

The second part of this chapter takes place on episode 20 of Hetalia: Axis Powers. Is that episode we love to hate and hate to love: the battle under the rain. I had to watch that bloody thing, subbed and dubbed, like five times, and then read the manga, so the dialogue is kind of a mix between everything. It may not be like you remember, but essentially is the same.

Wow, I think this is the most I've ever talked in a note before. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and try not to want to kill me.

Oh, and just so you know, I have a beta now, so if you want to go back and read the first chapter again, just with not so many mistakes, you can. Nothing changed on the plot, though, so if you don't think it's necessary, you can just read this one.

* * *

 **1763**

While running toward the hill, Alfred was thinking about how fast that month went by. Between games, walks, and meals that tasted like he didn't even know what, the days seemed to fly by, which wasn't exactly new, to be honest. Every day with Arthur was so perfect that it passed faster than he would have liked it to.

Breathing heavily, he looked up and saw the messy hair of the British nation who was standing with his back to him. He ran faster with the biggest smile on his face, as he was intending to scare the older man. But, that was until he saw what England was seeing. Then smile vanished right away.

The sails were furled, but he knew they were huge and pure white. The hull was sculpted in noble wood, and the royal flag danced with the wind at the highest point of the ship. America knew what the ship was and what it meant. It was a Royal Navy ship, and it was there to take Arthur away.

"You're leaving?" England heard the not so childish voice asking behind him.

"I have to go."

"But, you stayed for such a short amount of time, and you promised you would teach me how to cook."

Even if Arthur's food wasn't the best in the world, which was not to say that it wasn't edible, it still would have been time that they could have spent together.

"I know, Alfred, but I have things to do in my country too." Arthur crouched down to be at the same height as the boy. "I would like to stay with you very much, but this doesn't mean I can ignore my responsibilities."

"If you like to stay with me so much, then take me with you." Alfred asked with hope filling his blue eyes.

At first, England was shocked and simply stared at the boy, but then he got to his feet faster than it seemed possible.

"This would be"- he paused to think of how to explain it -"impractical, to say the least."

"Why? I promise I'll behave."

"No, Alfred! I'll be busy all the time and won't be able to pay attention to you."

"I don't mind. I can just sit in a corner. I won't bother anyone; I promise."

"You can't, Alfred."

"But… Arthur."

"No!" Arthur yelled, but he regretted it right away. It wasn't that he regretted denying the boy's request, but he did regret yelling at the boy. He never yelled at Alfred, and, when he saw the tears streaming down the boy's face, a knot formed in his throat.

"Alfred, I'm sorry, love. I didn't meat to…"

"I hate you," he said looking down.

"W-what?"

"I hate you, Arthur! I wish your ship would sink, and you would drown and die!" He yelled and ran to the big and solitary house.

"Alfred, wait!" Arthur said, but Alfred didn't hear him. He was too far away, but Arthur couldn't go after the boy, even if it made his chest hurt not to do so.

England went down the hill toward the docks; his heart felt heavy because of the boy's words.

* * *

 _Stupid England, I hate him. He's a complete idiot._

Alfred was kicking a rock on his way home, which would be empty, except for the employees. He hated this part the most and was scared of it at the same time. He stopped in front of the mansion, while observing the typical English architecture on American soil. It looked so different now that Arthur was gone.

 _I hate you for leaving me here alone._

* * *

 **American Revolutionary War**

"Hey, England, I want freedom after all."

 _How did he end up there? How did the situation reach this point? He didn't mean for it to be like this._

"I'm not a child anymore, nor your little brother."

 _That was right. He didn't want to be England's family, not like this._

"From now on, I'm independent."

Despite the firm tone of voice, Alfred was shaking inside. From that moment on, he was going to leave everything he had ever known behind. He was going to throw himself into a brand new world with no support from the one who was always by his side, and that was terrifying.

After a few seconds, England seemed to finally react to the words coming from the boy and ran toward him with his weapon drawn.

"I won't allow it!"

Right on time, Alfred held his own weapon in a way to block the blow, but it fell from his hands because of the force applied by the older nation.

While this was occurring, Arthur was asking himself why that was happening.

 _Was he a bad tutor, a bad brother?_

He didn't know what had he done wrong for his boy to be behaving like this.

"You were always so naïve, you fool," England said with his musket aimed at the face of the boy who he had watched to grow up.

In the back of his mind, he heard an order to fire, but he knew it wasn't going to be obeyed. They wouldn't take the risk of harming Alfred too.

The musket was in a perfect position. He just had to fire, and everything would be all right. He put his finger on the trigger and was ready to pull it, but then he looked into Alfred's eyes.

He saw fear in those eyes, but it was different from what he was used to seeing. Usually, Alfred was afraid of the dark, of ghosts, or that England would go away to never come back. However, what he was seeing now, though, was fear for his own people and the fear of not being good enough to guide those people and take care of the land. But, even so, he was willing to try. And, that is when Arthur realized his boy, the one who would ask to hold his hand, had grown up. He wasn't just Alfred anymore. Now, he was America too.

"There's no way I can fire, fool."

England dropped the musket and sank to his knees. Even if he was feeling abandoned by the one he considered his family, more so than he considered his own brothers, he was also proud.

"Damn it! Why? Shit!"

He buried his face in his hands as he cried and shook.

 _It could've been another way. It could've been better. Couldn't it?_

"England..."

America stood there and stared at the one, who for a long time, had been his only support. He looked so frail now. It reminded him of when England and France were fighting for him in the middle of the woods on that first day. He looked so alone at that time that Alfred didn't hesitate to choose him.

 _Would the ending results have been different, had he chosen Francis?_

They would because then it wouldn't be Arthur. Even if things were hard now, he didn't regret his choices because they made him have great memories. And, if the clouds were around now, he knew the sun would shine later. He would fix things with England, one day… Hero's promise…

"You used to be so big."


End file.
